


Muddled Waters

by MellowChibi



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Angst, Don't say I didn't warn you, Friends With Benefits, Lots of Sex, M/M, can I call this a slow burn?, fuck buddies, no seriously, there is a shit-ton of sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-07-17 07:11:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16090625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MellowChibi/pseuds/MellowChibi
Summary: Fai was running and definitely not looking for something to root him in place, and Kurogane was fine with that. More than fine. In fact it suited him perfectly.Kurogane and Fai becomes fuck-buddies during their travels. No strings attached, until suddenly there is.





	1. Chapter 1

Kurogane was no stranger to sex. Having devoted his life to the protection of Princess Tomoyo there had not been enough hours in the day to even consider a relationship. Not that he ever wanted one. Relationships were messy. They clouded your judgement and left you struck with living two different lives at the same time. Balancing, always prioritizing one or the other. Never being enough and always letting someone down.  
  
No, Kurogane had been perfectly happy with his life, just the way it was. Well, before Princess Tomoyo sent him away that’s it. He had simply taken his pleasure where he found it and and when he felt like it. No strings attached.  
  
He had never really cared much about his own appearance, being more interested in honoring his skills as a swordsman than anything else. But he knew that he was good-looking enough that most of the castle servants and even his fellow swordsmen wouldn’t say no a tumble in his bed or two.  
  
Not that he minded.  
  
So when the mage had invited him to his bed he had simply shrugged his shoulders and accepted the offer. Fai might annoy the hell out of him at times but he didn’t particular dislike him, and there really was no arguing that the other male was attractive. So why not?

They were stranded, isolated. Some kind of glorified babysitters for two kids that had more one their shoulders than anyone their age should, or anyone for that matter. Sakura slept most of the time and the kid spent all his leftover time dotting on her. So he was struck drinking, staring at the stars in the ever changing skies. Every new world reminding him of how far away from home he actually was. Time passed slowly at evenings like this, he had never needed much sleep to begin with and this constant traveling made him feel out of place and always on guard. A quick fuck gave him some much needed distractions, and as an added bonus it made the mage shut up. At least for awhile.

In the end Kurogane firmly believed that this situation would be over soon anyway. That they would all end up in the country of Nihon sooner rather than later and he could leave this entire ordeal behind him. He figured that the rest of the group would keep traveling without him until the very last of the feathers were found, and then it would just be Fai and Mokona left, jumping from world to world until whatever Fai was running from finally caught up with him.

Not that he cared. That was Fai’s issue and not his. They might share a bed but that was all there was too it. Two adults seeking a distraction, to keep themselves occupied in strange countries they knew nothing about as the night crept upon them over and over again.

And it was not like Fai was a bad companion to have in your bed, far from it. The male was experienced and delicate at the same time, and Kurogane found pleasure in watching the contrast of his tan hands against the mages creamy skin. It was surprisingly soft to the touch and it quickly flushed as the other males excitement rose. The shudders that rippled through Fai as he grabbed him and pressed him down to the bed made him swallow hard, like something suddenly got caught in his throat.

Fai looked so very different from the people from his own country. He looked almost exotic with his blonde hair and slender build. Maybe that's why everything felt slightly different from how Kurogane's sexual encounters. Because something  _was off_. Not necessarily in bad way, but it was different nonetheless.

Maybe it was because Fai was technically a mage. Kurogane couldn’t remember that he had ever took one to bed before, (not for lack of willing participants mind you).

He didn’t really have anything against mages in the first place, but he had just prefered to keep them at an arm's length. He did understand the gist of magic, as much as someone that didn’t possess the ability could, and he was painfully aware of just how dangerous mages could be, having faced his fair share in battles. And even if Fai didn’t happen to use his magic he was a mage nonetheless, and a strong one at that.

Oh yes, he did his best hiding it behind silly words and whatnot, fooling most people they met on their travels and probably the kids too. But not him.

Kurogane had sensed the power emitting from the slender form since the first time he had laid his eyes upon him. He remembered every fiber in his body had screamed at him that that man was dangerous, and to tread very, very carefully.

He silently couldn’t help but wonder if Fai’s first impression of him was anything like his own.

Maybe.

Not that it mattered.

They never said much during the act itself, just tiny breaths of air against each others lips. Fingers digging into skin to encourage. A tug here or a pull there as a form of communication, to convey a request, a wish. A demand.

Strands of blonde hair was flowing over the pillow and he unconsciously reached out with one of his hands and let the fine fibers fall through his fingers. Fai was looking at him through half-lidded eyes that were slightly dazed and maybe he would even have had marveled at their colour if it weren't for the fact that he could see a question building up behind them.

Annoyed he grabbed a strand of said hair and pulled at it just as he slammed into the body beneath him once more. He focused on the tension that had assembled during the day, all his worries, his exasperation at the situation, his anger at himself and channeled it into every trust he made into the slender frame underneath him. This was the way the other liked it too. Harsh, almost hateful. Devoid of emotions. There was no pretense here, just two beings using the other for their own selfish gains.

Fai’s back arched up to meet him, biting down slightly on his lips to not make any unnecessary noise. A small pant escaped though and Kurogane felt himself grin before grabbing further into slender hips, angling the mage before continue to pound into the slim body. He could feel beads of sweat starting to trickling down his chest as he towered above the other, his muscles working to satisfy the most primal of all urges.

One of Fai’s hands which so far had been busy with desperately grasping at the covers now rose to place itself over his face, covering him as yet another quiet moan rolled of full lips.

A moment later that same hand was pinned back against the mattress, rough, calloused fingers wrapping itself around a thin wrists as their movements continued. Red eyes meeting blue before Kurogane leaned down into the crock of a neck and with a quiet grunt finally found his release.

Slowly catching his breath, but still panting softly Kurogane pulled out and rolled to the side, his hand already moving downwards, intending to finishing the job the rest of his body had failed to do. He had almost reached the other males member before Fai gently swatted him away, shaking his head.

“Im fine,” blinking in slight confusion Kurogane watched as Fai got up and slowly, on slightly swaying legs crossed the room to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Shrugging it off he made an attempt to clean up the mess they had made instead. There was no question what Fai was doing behind that closed door but it didn’t matter. He had offered his services but the mage had declined, which was fine.

It wasn’t the first time it had happened and it would probably happen again in the future with whoever he took to bed then. Kurogane had learned early on that some people just didn’t find pleasure in being the center of attention. To have someone focus on just you and your needs, to see the emotions crossing over your face and listen to every lusty sound that escaped your lips. Seeing you at your most vulnerable.

Maybe in the future, if he ever ended up in a relationship he might have wanted to bother to work on the other person's insecurities, but this was not what this was. Fai was not his problem.

So when the Fai finally emerged from the bathroom he found the worst of the mess already cleaned up and Kurogane back in his own bed, fast asleep.

A soft, but sad smile was playing on his lips as he crept down under his own covers, which still held the smell of sweat and the sweet, alluring scent of sex.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I would like to thank everyone who left Kudos and commented on the last chapter. Honestly I haven't written in years and never really posted on this site before, (it was pretty much just livejournal or FF back then) and I am really thankful for everyone that took their time to show their appreciation. I honestly didn't expect to receive anything at all. It really helps me to stay motivated to start writing again after all this years.

Whatever this manga thing that Kurogane had picked up back in Hanshin Republic was, he had to admit it wasn’t half bad. In fact, it was actually quite good. Intriguing even. He hadn’t been much for reading back in Nihon, there was always something else to do and the big thick volumes had always seemed so daunting somehow. And there was no real reason for him to read anyway. Why should he bother to read about an adventure when he could just as well head out and slaughter some demons on his own?

But things were different now, weren’t they? Sakura was fast asleep again, and the kid had probably fallen asleep too while watching over her. Sure, it had been a trying day for them all, but Kurogane could easily count the hours the princess actually were awake on a single hand. Not that it was her fault, but it still left Kurogane with more free time on his hands than he had ever had before and frankly, he didn’t quite know what to do with it. More than drink that’s it. Or stare emptily into the space in front of him, counting the seconds. Needles to say he prefered the first one.

At least now he had a bit of distraction, and the fact that the manga wasn’t half bad was a welcoming bonus.

A less welcoming thing was that he could feel the presence of the mage entering the room behind him. Fai never made much noise when he moved, which was something the bigger male had picked up on early on. Sure, the blonde was loud and annoying, with an endless stream of words constantly pouring out of his mouth. But he moved quietly. Fluidly even.

“What do you want?” he grunted out as he turned yet another page, not even bothering to give the other one even a glance. If Fai weren’t going to have the damn courtesy to announce his presence he wouldn’t bother to move from his place on the couch. Or turn his head for that matter. But he sure as hell was not going to let Fai think he didn’t notice him. Kurogane was not a man you snuck up on. Simple as that.

“Uuwaah, so grumpy~,” the sing-song voice called out behind him as a hand placed itself on his shoulder. The other man close to whirled around the couch in one swift motion before he was standing in front of Kurogane. With an annoyed sigh he lifted his gaze from the page and turned it towards to the other. He hated everything about the happy-go-lucky act Fai was constantly putting on. He would much have prefered it Fai could just stop pretending. It was not like he was buying it anyway.

As if the damn mage could read his mind the slender form slowly leaned down over him with another one of his annoying smiles plastered all over his face. Delicate fingers brushed ever so slightly over exposed skin as they came eyelevel with one another. A moment passed that way, just inches away, their noses almost touching. And then yet another moment as the tension rose around them and seemed to stretch out endlessly into the empty room.

“Thankfully,” the other one purred as the hand on his shoulder wandered closer to his throat, just a whisper of fingers brushing past before they moved down his clothed chest slowly, neither of them breaking their piercing gaze. “I know just the way to fix that,”

And then Fai’s head was moving down too, a few strands of hair dancing against Kurogane’s jawline as he sunk down on the floor between his legs. He could feel the others breath against his stomach, warm and moist through the fabric of his shirt.

“ _Mage…_ ” he started, a warning on the tip on his tongue, but he was interrupted before the rest of the words even had a chance to leave his mouth by a hand firmly squeezing his thigh.

“Shhh…you are going to wake the kids Kuro-tan,” he murmured as he slowly lifted his shirt, and Kurogane could see Fai lightly wetting his lips at the sigh of his exposed skin and taunt muscles.

“I told you _to not_ call me that,” he gritted out through his teeth, but either Fai didn’t hear him, or he didn’t bother to reply as a small pink tongue darted out to lick along one of his many scars and the bigger male could feel his breath hitch in his throat.

Kurogane never really understood other people's obsessions with scars, and neither was he especially proud of his own either. Some of his fellow warriors back in Nihon had carried them like trophies, proof of them having faced danger in battle and still being alive to see another day. Kurogane thought it was bullshit. If they were so damn skilled they wouldn’t have gotten hurt in the first place. Scars were mistakes that just weren’t big enough to get you killed.

But he had to admit, watching the mage paint his errors with his saliva, tracing one of his many lines across his skin was oddly arousing and he could feel himself stiffen as Fai moved back, his tongue lightly curling before he lightly blew on the now wet lines across his stomach. It was cold, and yet it tingled with a promise of more to come as slender fingers ran along the hem of his pants teasingly and pale blue eyes met his gaze yet again.

Cradled between his legs Fai’s hands expertly unbuckled his belt and made even faster work of his fly. He looked vulnerable, trapped where he was, nestled between his legs with a soft, almost sad smile that Kurogane for some reason believed for just once wasn’t completely feigned, and he felt a wave of emotions roll through him.

Questions he hadn’t bothered asking and questions he never knew he had were rushing through his head at an alarming rate and he opened his mouth, trying to make sense of it all. But before something, anything had a chance to leave his mouth Fai suddenly broke their gaze and leaned down and mouthed his member through his boxers.

And just like that the moment was broken, and the questions that had formed on the tip of his tongue transformed into a quiet groan.

All Kurogane could see from his position was a mess of blonde hair in his lap moving slightly as the other teased him through his boxers, nipping and breathing hotly against his still hardening flesh. When he felt slender fingers dip into the hem of his underwear, tugging ever so lightly Kurogane leaned his head on the backrest, his face turned towards the ceiling and closed his eyes as the heat of Fai’s mouth danced over him.

The air was cold against his skin as Fai finally freed his member from its prior confinement and for a moment all he could hear was his own heavy breathing rippling through his body in anticipation, and then, as Fai finally took him into his mouth, nothing.

One thing was for certain, Fai knew what he was doing. Teasing at first, gently coaxing the tip inside his mouth as slender fingers wrapped around the base, grip tightening and then loosening in pace with the movements of his head. Long, idle licks from the base of his shaft before the blonde once more let him into his waiting mouth.

Time seemed to slow down altogether, the world shrinking until the only thing in it were the two of them, in this very room. Kurogane’s felt his hands slip into the tangle of locks in his lap, silky strands falling between his fingers as Fai was sucking him off. His hand formed into a fist, pulling. Gently at first, and then more forceful when he felt Fai hum around him in approval before taking him even deeper.

He came silently as Fai swallowed around him, his orgasm gentle but insistent and as he opened eyes he hadn’t noticed closing he saw the blonde wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, his normally bright eyes dark in the evening light.

Kurogane found himself wanting to say something. A  _‘Thank you,’_ or maybe even a  _‘sorry’_ for not warning the other before coming. But before he could get any words out Fai grabbed a handful of tissue papers from the box at the table and dumped it at his exposed crotch and the mess they had made.

He had wanted to say something, but he didn’t. Instead he silently watched the other saunter out of the room before soundlessly cleaning himself of and then went back to reading as if nothing had happened.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Kurogane was tired, beat. Exhausted. His body was full of scrapes and he smelled of burnt flesh. And he was angry. Angry at himself. Angry at the situation in front of him. Angry at everything.

He didn’t ask for this. Didn’t deserve to be flung from word to word with people he barely knew. He didn’t want to be a part of this. Wasn’t supposed to. He had made it clear he from the beginning that he wasn’t going to lift a finger to help look for anything. He didn’t owe any of them.

 _They_ were going to do the looking and then they would all move on until they reached his word and that would be that. And if someone ended up dead it wasn’t his problem.

Quite the opposite. He could probably jump quicker through the words until he found the one he was looking for when there weren’t people searching for shit of no value to him every time they landed somewhere new.

And yet here he was, getting involved. Going to some stupid magic castle for a _goddamn feather_. Sacrificing himself, putting himself in danger so the kid had a chance to reach the ruler before it was too late.

_tch…_

He was starting to care for this weird mismatch of people he was traveling with, he could tell. And he didn’t like it one bit. It was only going to complicate things. At this rate he would end up being over a hundred years old before he managed to make back it home.

And here he was, putting himself in unnecessary danger and the only thing he had for it was the fucking mage not even bothering to use magic, and for some reason it really annoyed the hell out of him. They had enough shit on their plate already for having to worry about Fai’s personal issues, whatever the hell they were.

Kurogane didn’t get it. Clearly the mage had powers, and not little of it either. If he could use magic he would have fucking used it. Anything to get out of this mess and back to his own country just a tiny bit quicker.

Sure, he might not know much about magic to begin with, or the rules associated with it or whatever idiotic reason Fai had for refraining from using his power in the first place. But he was damn sure the reason was stupid, and unless the mage somehow proved him wrong he would stand by his opinion.

He showed the door closed behind him, just a bit too hard, its hinges creaking as it slammed shut in protest. He could feel the other eyes burning into his back as he slowly locked the door and turned around, meeting the others gaze. Unafraid.

Fai was watching him warily from where he was standing with water dripping from his hair, down his naked body as he slowly turned of the faucet while he studied him carefully.

Kurogane took one step closer, and then another. Quietly, controlled. As he reached the glass that seperated the shower cabin from the rest of the room he could see Fai hiding a flinch, uncertainty plain to read over his slender features. And then he was inside, grabbing the smaller man by his throat and slamming him against the cold wall, a quiet whine moving through his throat and vibrating against his palm before reaching his ears as Fai’s head crashed against the tiles just a bit harder than he had intended. But he wasn’t going to back down. Not this time.

“You are _fucking useless_ , did you know that?” he snarled at the other, their face inches apart as he towered over him, the leftover droplets from the shower seeping into his clothes from the naked form in front of him.

He felt the broken laugh leaving Fai before he heard it, a strangled, torn sound filling the void around them. And all at once Kurogane got a glint just how broken Fai actually were underneath his layers of pretty smiles. They stayed like this, Fai’s slippery body pressed against the wall by his throat, Kurogane waiting for an answer he deep down knew would never come.

“Was that all you wanted?,” Fai finally asked, eyes sharp, but just as empty as the smile resting in the corner of his lips. "...or do you want _to do_ anything with me?" He could feel the other touch him through his trousers, leaving a wet mark on the fabric from damp hands. "To me?"

He thought about taking him here, against the wall. The small form slippery and wet from his unfinished shower as he lifted him into the air, leggs desperately clinging to his waist as he tore into him, pressed between himself and the wall and with nowhere to go.

He thought about flipping him around and take him from behind so he wouldn’t have to see Fai’s fucking face. Body pressed flush against the cold, wet tiles as he held the others hand behind his back. Every now and then twisting them just so, so it would _hurt._ Pain, sharp and unforgiving traveling from aching shoulders, traveling across the body and reaching the others head, leaving him gasping

He thought about a lot of things. But in the end he realised that if they were to do this instead of having a discussion like the adults they were, at the very least he would make damn sure Fai didn’t get anything out of it.

“Get on your knees _mage_ ,”

And Fai went obediently. As he unbuckled his pants he wondered if the floor was hard against the others knee, if they would scrubb the pale skin red and sore. He wondered if it would hurt.

He hoped it did.

He reached out and let his hands bury themselves in the tangle of wet hair in front of him and tugged. Beneath him he could see Fai closing his eyes and let him pull him closer, compliantly opening his mouth for him once his cock touched his lips.

He went slow at first, allowed Fai to tease him, to let his tongue dance around him. Loosening his grip slightly so the other could lean back just so, so he could focus on the head, working on him until he was fully hard inside the others mouth.

He hated the other, despised him even, with his stupid smiles and shitty secrets. He wished Fai had never showed up and joined their travels in the first place. Things would have been easier then, better.

Less complicated.

He fucked his mouth steadily, letting the momentum build while Fai was passive in his hands, letting Kurogane use him as he saw fit. He felt himself letting out a quiet groan and he could see the corner of Fai’s lips curl upwards, but before the smile could fully form he thrust deeper into Fai’s mouth, putting a stop to it.

Fai felt great, all warm and moist around him, cheeks hollowed as he sucked in air, adding just the right amount of pressure around his dick. Kurogane quickly realised he could thrust pretty deep without any problem. At the very least Fai didn’t complain as he went further, instead the mage just relaxed his throat and started to breath through his nose like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Closing his eyes he took in the sound of his flesh grinding around moisture-laden lips. It felt good, great even. He quickened his pace.

Deeper and deeper, harder and harder. He found himself surprised over the fact that Fai seemed to have no issue to take his full size down his throat, after all, Kurogane was not exactly small to begin with.

Then just by the end of yet another long, deep thrust his hips jerked involuntarily and he cursed as Fai gagged around him, pulling out in one swift motion and easing his firm grip on the others hair.

Kurogane looked down at the other, ready to apologize as Fai opened his eyes and looked back at him emptily. And Kurogane froze.

Fai’s slender frame was shaking, _heaving_. Still gasping for air. A flush growing over his cheeks. But his eyes were cold, ice blue and hollow.

Without a word Fai leaned forward once more, ready to take him back in, but Kurogane found himself tightening his hold on the wet locks, stopping him as he observed the mage. He didn’t like this, not one bit, and in this moment of clarity he finally understood.

Their sex had always been rough, devoid of emotions. Just two adults meeting their needs. But right now it seemed to him that Fai’s needs were very different from his own. He detested the other, but this wasn’t what he had signed up for. And it certainly wasn’t why he had come here, to this bathroom in the first place.

”I understand now,” he growled and Fai’s eyes flashed dangerously at him, because he did. ”And if you _ever_ use me so you can feel sorry for your shitty self again, we are done,” he spit out before letting go of the tangle of hair, watching as the male collapsed on the cold, tiled floor, still gasping for air.

And then he left.

He wasn’t going to play Fai’s games, whatever they were. He refused to be used.

Maybe if he had stayed he would have seen the other falling back against the hard wall and curling in on himself. His forehead resting against bruised knees as the last drops of water rolled down his skin.

But he didn’t.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that just happened \\(´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)/
> 
> I feel awful


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a pain to write and it just took me forever. Mostly because I literally moved to another country and everything have been confusing and honestly, I have still not completely managed to settle yet.
> 
> I am also not a 100% satisfied with it but I need to move on if this story is ever going to get anywhere tbt.

Jade country came a went, some weird forest in the middle of nowhere rushed past. Days turned to weeks and weeks into months and Kurogane’s bed stayed empty and cold no matter where they went.

He didn’t care. At least that was what he told himself. There were other ways, plenty of ways he could take care of his needs. Ways that didn’t involve a certain slender form underneath him, sharing his bed.

But sometimes his mind drifted, and he wanted to, _longed to_ go look for him, just as he had done that evening that now felt like a lifetime ago. But this time they would have done what he intended to last time; they would talk. Without changing the subject, without it turning into something physical. Just two people figuring eachother out over a bottle of sake or two.

But Fai was avoiding him. As soon as the kid and the princess were tucked in Fai was gone, seemingly disappearing into thin air.

It didn’t hurt.

If the mage had no interest in him more than to use him to hurt himself he had no interest either. He didn’t need anyone of these people he happened to be traveling with. His life was back in Nihon where he actually belonged. Not here or wherever the stupid piece of fluff took them.

Sometimes Kurogane went out in the evenings for a drink. He prefered that over the deafening silence after the kids had gone to bed. It was empty, cold and just overall lonely and if he needed to waste time he rather do it with a bottle of booze than not.

And sometimes the night ended in another person's bed, and sometimes it didn’t.

If Fai had noticed he didn’t say anything. In fact he didn’t say anything at all, except empty words and meaningless banters that Kurogane had had his fill of already. He always made sure to be back before the kids woke up, and whatever he did in his spare time was his business. It was not like they had been exclusive or anything anyway.

For awhile he fully believed their arrangement, whatever it had been had ended, just as quickly as it had begun. It wasn’t before they reached the country of Otou and he turned around in his bed one night, trying to get comfortable only to see the outline of Fai standing by his bedside in the darkness that the thought that maybe it wasn’t crossed his mind.

“Are you not going out today Kuro-pon?” At least Fai had the grace to not pretend he had no business standing by his bed, in his room in the middle of the night. It annoyed him that the other somehow had managed to get into his room without him noticing. Sure, he could tell himself it was due to it being in the middle of the night, or that Fai obviously had the experience to sneak around unnoticed. But Kurogane wasn’t the person to tell himself empty excuses, Kurogane learned from his mistakes and survived.

Because excuses seldomly helped the next time an enemy tried to get into your sleeping quarters with a knife behind their back. Excuses is what got you killed. This traveling shit was tiring him, and they had been in Otou country for quite some time. Having an actual house of their own to return to had made him lower his guard. The demons that inhabited the land never seemed to attack them here and he had most likely unconsciously labelled this place a safe zone in his head.

His mistake. From now on he wouldn’t fuck up.

“Are you not going to crawl back into whatever hole you have been hiding in?” he finally bit back and he could see the smaller frame flinch in the darkness. He didn’t have any patience for this shit, nor the time. “What the hell do you want _mage_ ,”

Fai’s gaze was flickering, uncertainty plain to see even though his features were mostly hidden by the dark of night. Slender fingers were idly playing with hem of his shirt as if other male were trying to make up his mind, and Kurogane _knew_.

He knew why the other had come here, what he wanted, or didn’t want out of him, because Fai, as always never could make up his goddamn mind.

With a heavy sigh Kurogane found himself lifting the cover, slightly exposing his bare chest and he could see how Fai’s gaze flicked over his skin, taking him in.

“Get in,” he muttered, a bit more forceful than he had originally intended, and he could see Fai thinking above him, weighing his options against another before finally coming to a decision and wordlessly sneaking into his bed.

It was a mess.

They fumbled, awkwardly trying to figure out this new situation, where to draw the lines, which in Fai’s case wasn’t very far. But he guessed that was okay, at least for now, because for the first time since this all started Fai let him touch, albeit not very much.

The mage was tense and quiet, clearly uncomfortable underneath him. And Kurogane couldn’t recall ever having felt as awkward during sex as he did in that very moment.

It was like he was a boy again, inexperienced to the point of it being his first time, and not in a good, sexy, about to lose his virginity kind of way, but an awkward, how does _anything work_ way.

And Fai didn’t help, he just laid there underneath him, tense as a corpse and staring up into the roof with empty eyes and Kurogane found himself sighing in defeat.

 _’One step forward and two steps back huh?_ He thought to himself as reached out towards the drawer next to the bed.

‘ _Whatever,’_ he thought as his fingers locked around the small, cold container, flipping the lid of in one swift motion as Fai’s gaze slowly came back to reality, the emptiness in his eyes fading as the mattress shifted underneath them as Kurogane moved around.

One finger and then another. This dance was so familiar to them by this point that the motions no longer had a meaning behind them, if they ever had.

As he entered him a shudder ran through the body underneath him and the mage’s body sprang to life, hips moving up to meet his thrusts in the familiar pace he had set for the two of them. He grabbed the other’s hips for support, his tan fingers digging into the pearlescence skin that was Fai’s, maybe a little bit to hard if this had been anything else than what this had been from the beginning, two people using each other every now and then for their own selfish gains. That was fine.

This was fine.

As long as it was about pleasure and fucking instead of whatever game the mage had been playing up until that point it was fine.

Grunting he let go of the others hips before he leaned down, his arms resting on both sides of Fai’s slim form as he encapsled him, never losing his rhythm as he hovered above the other, his eyes meeting wary blue ones. Fai didn’t say anything though, even if the signs of discomfort were plain to see in the way his body tensed up, his eyes, slightly glazed over still held a spark that watched him carefully, waiting. Considering.

Kurogane didn’t push him further, not right then, instead he stayed just above, watching the mask Fai undoubtedly was wearing and wondered if it would ever fall away.

Not that he cared, he reminded himself as their bodies brushed slightly against one another with his thrusts. The damn mage’s issues had nothing to do with him and never would.

He let out another low groan, he was getting closer, his thrusts more erratically and he found himself hesitating for a moment before making up his mind, shifting his weight to his left arm so he could sneak the other downward, taking hold of Fai’s cock.

The effect was immediate. Fai’s eyes, half lidded, but never really losing their awareness shoot open, his body went rigid yet again as his hand’s scrambled downwards, desperately looking for Kurogane’s own and wrapping slender fingers around his wrist, stilling Kurogane’s movements before they had even begun.

“No,” he said, eyes flashing, staring him down. Here but no further.

But Kurogane was done. He was done watching the other waltz away, to take care of his business, or more likely, as he had realized after their last encounter, pretend to.

He was fine with taking one thing at a time when it came to touching, building trust. He was fine with his partners having limits or rules, or whatever. But the thing was, Kurogane had his rules as well. He had made that clear the last time and if Fai wasn’t going to respect his, he sure as hell wasn’t going to respect the mage’s either. Trust went both ways.

And most importantly, Kurogane was not a boy, lost to the waves of pleasure rolling through him, he hadn’t been for years. He is a full grown man in control of himself, so he stills his hips, the meaning between his motions clear as a day as red eyes flash down at the other warningly, still not letting go of Fai’s cock. He does however lean up a little, staring down at the other as Fai bit his lower lip, eyebrows furling ever so slightly.

“Then no,” he replied, his voice deep and certain. “Not today, not _ever again_. I am done playing your games,”

At first glance it seemed like Fai were going to run away, to crawl back wherever he had been holed up these past weeks, months even. But in the end he stared back, blue meeting red, testing, gambling, considering.

Kurogane doesn’t give a rat’s ass. He is in control, and he can stop whenever he wants to, can finish up by himself, or find someone else to take care of the it. Or just go back to sleep altogether. Because the truth is he is tired. Tired of the charades, of where they are standing, what they are to one another.

 _Nothing,_ a little voice whispers in his ear. _The both of you are nothing but a means to an end_. And he know it’s the truth. The same with the kid and the princess and the bun. They are nothing to one another, or at least they shouldn’t be.

Fuck this, fuck these emotions of care and god knows what else that has been slowly sneaking up on him. Fuck them all to hell.

He pulls away, further, fully intending to leave this mess behind once and for all, to put on his armour, both mentally and literally speaking and never taking it the fuck of again.

“Wait,”

The voice is thin and wavering and he looks down at the man. He is biting his lips, but there is certainty shining behind those eyes. And then he feels the grip around his wrist loosen and Fai is turning his head away, unable to look him in the eyes any longer. But the meaning behind his actions are crystal clear. And Kurogane would need to be stupider than Mokona to not understand it.

Consent.

He curses under his breath. He could still stand up and leave. End this mess once and for all because honestly he can only see shit going downhill from here.

And yet, for some stupid ass reason he doesn't.

Instead his hand starts to move, slowly at first, but then more and more certain as he jerks the other off, watching. Fai has thrown a hand over his face, hiding it from view, but his body is shivering ever so slightly, still tense but slowly and surely relaxing into his touch. He doesn’t say anything, but Kurogane can see the noises he is swallowing, biting his lip to hide the rest and with a defeated sigh Kurogane finds himself starting to move his hips again, slowly but purposefully.

Neither of them are boys. Fai are not reduced to a quivering mess underneath him due to something as simple as this, but he does come between them, silently, but with slightly glazed eyes which are searching for his own as he spills warm seed over Kurogane’s fingers. And it’s that, and the way the slender form clenches around him that finally sends the him over the edge.

 


End file.
